A Miserable Situation
by Marfacat
Summary: The Long-Awaited Murder of an Abomination through the eyes of the 'antagonists'. I promise you this is sane.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, hi, there! I'm the newest troll author who's been spewing out the demon spawn puke you've been seeing on fanfiction lately. You probably can't read half of it anyway because of deplorable spelling errors on almost every word. Anyway, this is a fic that deals with the 'antagonists' of the story. Basically, their feelings, multiple assassination attempts on our sue lovable protagonist angel, reactions to Twitwi the hellspawn, etc.! This will (hopefully) not murder any of your brain cells!

...

Arwen knew something was very wrong as soon as she saw the harlot _fly_ into Imladris with feathered wings, as if she was an eagle of Manwë that was meant to be in the air. She later wished that the... Thing had stayed up there. Let the king of the Valar rectify the situation where mere elves could not. At that particular moment, however, Arwen had wanted to help the poor thing. Something terrible had obviously happened to her to cause her to look so... Grotesque!

The girl's hair was easily five feet long, reaching her knees at her abnormally large height. Its exceptionally bizarre detail was the multitude of disgustingly bright colors that flashed and migrated to different areas of the unnaturally shiny locks. Her breasts were so swollen that they could not at all have been supported by her stick-thin waist. She was inappropriately dressed, clad only in a short rag that barely covered her chest and painfully tight blue trousers that stopped at her knees. The most horrifying detail about this girl was her eyes, however. They were a disturbing combination of blue and red, so wide that they occupied almost half her face!

Before the urge to offer her assistance had risen to the forefront of her mind, however, Arwen's first instinct was to scream in terror. Fortunately, she managed to contain her emotions as soon as she had gathered her wits about her.

Unfortunately, the instinct returned as she witnessed her father lose all semblance of dignity he had ever carried about him, (which was so great that the very air around him spoke of wisdom and grace), and dote upon this peculiar stranger as if she were a queen and he was her humble servant. He had shed his wit and adopted the look of a foolish creature who was most certainly not Elrond, the lord of Imladris! It was a sickening transformation.

It was not long at all before the girl had gathered a crowd about her that simply would not silence themselves about her beauty, intelligence, power, and any other detail they could fabricate in their now simple minds.

This was, understandably, horribly confusing for poor Arwen. Five minutes after this abomination had landed in the courtyard, and she had gathered herself a posse of loyal worshippers who had emptied themselves of all sanity and thrown themselves at her feet. These Elves had lived long lives, fought in many battles, and witnessed many events that were now legend in their years in Arda. She knew them personally, had spoken with them, forged friendships with them... Something was very, horribly, wrong if they were praising this new girl for false deeds she had not done and drooling over her unnatural looks, calling it beauty.

As much as she wished to free the minds of her friends and family, however, Arwen knew she would have to bide her time. She was knew that the gaggle of mindless, garbage-spewing elves would not stand for a direct confrontation. As the weeks wore on, however, she could feel herself slipping into despair. She could not even hold an intelligent conversation anymore. She found herself desperately wishing for another who could very clearly see the damage being dealt by this... This _monster_!

Arwen knew that her situation had gotten much more serious, however, when she found her love escaping several Nazgûl with a company of Hobbits.

...

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for the reviews, they are greatly appreciated! Arwen won't be the only character with sanity in this fic, but she'll narrate this chapter. Please leave more reviews, constructive criticism in favor of flames!

...

"You are, like, so ugly. Just sayin'." Arwen slowly pivoted around to face Twitwi, eyebrow raised. The monster had enslaved her people, stolen her love, and conquered her home, and now had nerve to insult her appearance. Fortunately for the both of them, she had exceptional self-control and did not even give her the satisfaction of a sour expression.

"Is that so?" Asked Arwen quietly. She wanted nothing more than to slay this foul creature before her, however, she would not fare well when all the mindless Elves rushed to defend the abhorrence.

"Like, yeah! Quit using smart-people words, I'm the smart one!" Arwen suppressed a laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement, not wishing to upset the nearby Elves. Three simple words to her had seemed complicated?l

"Are you referring to my manner of speech? I would not deem my vocabulary unnatural." She said casually. The 'girl' huffed and stomped like a two-year-old.

"Like, speak English!" She screeched.

"What is this English you speak of? I believe I am unacquainted with the language." Arwen was genuinely confused. Perhaps that was the language they spoke in whatever twisted dimension she hailed from?

"We're, like, speaking it now, stupid!" The thing giggled, (a horrid sound) apparently believing herself to be intelligent once again, and flounced off.

 _Insane as well as hopelessly stupid_ , thought Arwen with severe contempt. Suddenly, she heard an angry man shouting from a few yards away.

"I demand that you refute your appalling words towards me, Elf!" He shouted, his face red from anger.

"Like, no! Twitwi said that you're a total rapist!" Arwen's mouth fell open in shock from such a disgraceful accusation. It certainly could not be true, such a person would not be allowed into Imladris in the first place.

"If that is so, then her words are poisonous lies! I an Boromir, Steward-prince of Gondor, and I shall not stand idly while this Twi-twi tarnishes my name!" He shouted, gripping the hilt of his sword. Arwen realized where the situation was going and speed-walked over to the two.

"Excuse me, my lord, if I may have a word with you?" She asked Boromir, who whirled around to face her. His angry expression softened once he took note of who she was.

"Of course, my lady." Said Boromir, eyes still fiery despite his now polite expression. Arwen gestured towards a courtyard, silently compelling him to follow.

"I would not advise arguing with the ones ensnared in her deceit. They will retaliate violently, and are very skilled in combat." She said as soon as they were out of earshot.

"This - forgive my language - _wench_ is spreading horrible untruths about me, and I will not stand for such disrespect! I am a man of honor and have given no reason for anyone to act towards me with such hostility!" Exclaimed Boromir frustratedly, glaring in the direction of the elf. Arwen allowed herself a brief grimace of exasperation before schooling her features back into a cool mask of infinite patience.

"You must forgive Glorfindel, he knows not of what he speaks. His mind is lost to this horrid creature who has enslaved the people of Imladris, and it seems only we were spared such a fate." Said Arwen.

"How long has this witch spun her insidious machinations here?" Asked Boromir, quickly grasping the direness of the situation.

"Many, many months." Arwen answered, suddenly feeling very tired. "Why have you not left yet? I will admit that would be the desired course of action, were I in your position."

"I attempted, but the Elves here would not allow me to." Said Boromir.

"If they regained their wits, I can assure you that you would be able to leave. Unfortunately, I cannot do this alone. I do not believe _we_ could slay her without assistance." It was cynical, but slowly proving to be true the longer Twitwi lingered in Imladris, flaunting her absolute perfection.

"We could defeat this witch, I am sure of it! Tell me, does this dark creature have a weakness of any kind?" Boromir asked hopefully.

"If I had found any, she would be dead." Arwen said calmly. Boromir frowned.

"Do you believe she has any weaknesses at all?" He asked.

"I did at first. Now, I am unsure." Arwen replied. Boromir let out a long sigh.

"No matter how long this shall take us, we need to stop this _Twi-twi_ before the damage becomes irreversible." He said. Arwen nodded.

"Perhaps it already has," she murmured, "in which case we should save other realms from the same fate."

"Of course." Agreed Boromir.

"I am afraid we must part ways for now, lest we are caught speaking ill of the monster. Meet me here at midnight so that we may discuss our plans without interruption." Said Arwen. With that, they parted ways.

So began the long-awaited murder of an abomination.

...

Please review! Happy New Year's!


End file.
